Turn your life into a story worth reading:

Right now, in this very moment, you are writing a story.

The story is that of your life.

Im sure at some point or another you have heard of the idea that we are all the main characters in the movie called our life, the dash in between our birth and death date on the tomb stone.

But have you ever stopped to ask yourself what kind of a story you want to creates?

Is it an exciting one full of adventure?

Do you want it to contain an epic love story?

A hero's journey where you get knocked down only to rise up in the face of adversity?

If you are to think upon what your favourite movies are chances are they all involved risk of some sort.

Rocky taking on Apollo Creed when he would surely lose.

Shrek and Donkey adventuring to save the princess.

Frodo and Sam taking the one ring to mount Doom to save middle earth.

All of this sounds amazing and im sure many of you reading this connect with one of these points, however if we are to look at our current decision making process, do we take risks when they are presented too us?

Well according to the national institute of health over 75% of people label themselves as risk adverse.

That means a majority of us when presented with a chance to make our story into the epic adventure we desire it to be, shy away from the moment.

Upon reading into this study and reflecting on my own life and the decisions I’ve hade the question come to me.

Why are we so afraid of taking risks?

And this is exactly what i want to unpack in here.

Defining Risk:

So what is a risk?

A risk in short is any decision we make that could lead to short term or long term pain.

Now we often only think of risks when it comes to self perceived big decisions.

This could be quitting/applying for a job, what topic we will study at uni, whether or not we leave or start a relationship, this list goes on and on.

However if we zoom out and look at big picture, literally everything you do is a risk!

When you drive your car, go for a walk, take a dip in the ocean, eat a corn chip, step of the curb, all of these things could kill you. Yes you could die eating a corn chip.

Now on the not so morbid side of things, behind every massive pay off you have had in your life there was also risk.

Taking up a new hobby like surfing and catching a wave for the first time, applying for your dream job and getting accepted, meeting someone who you fall in love with, switching carer paths and your quality of life drastically improving.

These are all examples of risk, however because we as humans are hardwired to look for negatives (most of us anyway unless you've intentionally gone about rewiring this) once we are comfortable with a state of being, we are less likely to take a chance.

Is there an issue with being comfortable?

As with most things, the answer to this is, it depends.

Because while it is great to be comfortable for periods of time, it can also be not so great when what we are cofortable with is suffering and chaos.

Yes you read that right, many people are comfortable with suffering and chaos and so they create it for themselves

For example, is there someone you know that is always in a dramatic relationship? No matter what there is just always something going on?

Or maybe a friend/relative of yours is incredibly comfortable in a job despite the fact that they constantly complain about it?

The reason for this is when we are comfortable with something we create more of it, its our default mode of behaving, and when we don't have it, we create it.

I found myself in both positions multiple times.

I stayed at a job I was dissatisfied with for nearly 16 months because despite being unhappy with how i was contributing to the world, i was comfortable with the state of being i was in even though i didn't like it.

My relationships for many years were chaotic because of who i was and who i chose to be with. When there were moments of peace within it we would some how find ways to bring it back to being chaotic.

One day I realised that if nothing changed, nothing would changed. And that change would have to be me. I would have to risk the my comfortable life in order to see the change i wanted in my life, to write a story I would love to look back on one day.

So what am i getting at here?

There are things you are going to need to do to start turning your life into the story you want it to be

1. Change how you perceive failure

2. Develop the courage to take risks

3. Be willing to be uncomfortable

4. Believe that it is worth it

This may be challenging and some what confronting for you, but lets get into it.

Changing the way you view failure:

The best take away i had from my nearly year long personal training course had literally nothing to do with human body or exercise

It was an off the cuff statement by my teacher that completely changed the perspective i had on what failure meant

He said that "failure is not a grade, but an acronym"

it stands for:

First

Attempt

In

Learning

What a beautiful way to re fraise the idea that was put in us by school that failure is something to shy away from and be embarrassed about.

Id like you to really chew on this idea, it could change your life.

Instead of seeing failure as an end destination, see it as a stepping stone to get to where you wish to be.

You don't have to be great to start, but you do have to start to become great.

Develop the courage to take risks:

It is echoed by so many of the greats, look at most sport icons, actors, creators, artist, world changers. There are perceived failures along their road that made them great.

One of my favourite quotes, Denzel captures perfectly what i am discussing here.

Take the risk of failure, do it over and over again, and you will likely end up exactly where you were wanting to be.

The only was we get good at anything is with repetition.

There are very few things that feel easy for us when we just start.

The same goes for getting comfortable with taking risks and betting on yourself. At first it will be uncomfortable, give it time and it will become second nature for you.

One frame i have found helpful is that when you are going to take a risk, pretend that the person who is taking the risk isn't you, but instead a friend that has come to you seeking the advice and encouragement to go for it.

Be willing to be uncomfortable:

All of the greatest moments and achievements of your life were likely on the other side of challenge.

The body you were building in the gym/kitchen

Completing the degree or training that got you into the work you desired

Working those hours you didn't want to do to build the savings to go on that holiday you wanted.

Again, to get something you've never had, you will need to do something you've never done!

There will be moments where you take risks and it sucks

You will be uncomfortable, you will ask why it is so hard and can you really do it. This is all a part of you creating a life worth living and a story worth telling

Believe that it will be worth it

Now this is where faith comes in real handy.

We don't need to put this into a religious context when i say the word faith think of it as your own self trust.

Be willing to take a bet on yourself and your own capabilities, you are an incredibly capable individual who can change your life if you so desire

So be bold, and have faith in yourself to go and make whatever dream you have happen!

Because it can, whatever story you want to write, write it with the choices that you make and the risks that you take.

Tying it all together:

So in short here is a basic frame work for this approach to life

1 - Don't see failure as a negative, see it a necessary part of achieving your goals and acknowledge that all great stories have trials and adversity in them.

2 - Develop courage to take risks, you can start small and grow from there. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will your dreams

3 -Accept discomfort as part of life and not something to run away from, but potentially an indication you are on the right path

4 - You are a capable as f*ck human, there are few things that you can not achieve with patience and effort applied

A final message:

If you made it to here, thank you for reading my letter

This was an incredibly hard task for me, I want you to buy into your abilities and be willing to take a chance on your dreams.

Did i convey this message perfectly, No.

And that is okay, it wont ever be perfect and that is my learning.

Recently i decided to step away from one of my jobs to spend more time bringing you content and building my dream, this was my most recent "risk".

Will it work out? I don't know, but I'm willing to try to write a story i will be proud to look back on one day

If this has helped you in any way please share it with a friend.

Enjoy the week to come and I will speak with you soon.

Warm regards, Ryan