What's been going on with PHP and me?

Where have I been?

I have not been writing or creating any content for a while.

Chances are most of you didn't notice and those of you that did are probably aware of what has been going on.

For the majority of you reading this who don't know why I stopped, my reasoning was that I had absolutely no clue why I was writing and or what direction I wanted to take PHP in.

If you haven't attempted to started a brand or had the idea to create a business/media account let me break down what my experience was like.

A lot of what you do is just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks while feeling incredibly out of your depth as you try to learn all the skills of content creation. Which is true for learning any new skill but is always uncomfortable doing it in a public domaine.

Writing, podcasting, making youtube videos, promoting, networking, learning new things to help your own life and then trying to articulate it to your audience with the hope that it helps them all while feeling like a complete imposter and so outside of my comfort zone is much of what my initial experience was.

Add to this the constant feeling of never doing enough or providing enough content to your audience while still working a job, trying to take care of your health (more on that later), build meaningful relationship and to enjoy the moments of life as it comes and you can begin to understand why I took a step back.

Again this is just my experience and if you attempt to build an impactful idea/brand it may be entirely different.

What did I learn during my time of social media/producing?

Well first and fore most, There is no right way to do anything.

The idea that there was a correct way to go about building PHP was fucking suffocating. There was so much pressure I was placing on myself to build this brand that would connect the world and uplift my community. Yet I was almost entirely convinced that someone else would have the answers for how to do this.

I am in no way trying to say that teachers, educators and mentors arnt valubale, they are. But I was falling into a situation where I was outsourcing a lot of my thinking, not wanting to bet on my own abilities. Because if i fail, but i was doing what someone else told me to do, then it wasnt my fault! it was the plans, teacher or inspirations fault.

I was scared to try and fail.

That is the truth of all of this, if you or I never really try, then we never really feel the depth of failure. We get to just go through life blaming our situations or outcomes on the thinking/advice of another person.

This was a hard pill to swallow, one that took a silent retreat in Bali, sabbatical from social media and a lot of avoiding my own bullshit until eventually i had to just sit in it and accept myself for the imperfect human that I am.

These lessons have been incredibly liberating, and one I feel only comes with age and experience. Yet I hope to pass these lessons on to you.

Still I am left with the question of

"what am I doing with PHP, What do I want it to be and how do I want it to impact the world?"

So I hear you mentally ask

Whats going on with PHP?

Well this gets a bit more uplifting and exciting here.

My goal for PHP is to bring to you lessons that I have learned which allow me to enjoy my day to day experiences.

Sounds pretty simple but there is depth here, because I have worked incredibly hard to learn to enjoy life and all the things it gifts you, even the shitty moments ;)

At the same time I thoroughly enjoy and value learning from others with the podcast interviews and believe that through building an audience of like minded/curious individuals I can place in front of you "your people" the ones that you connect with that make you feel seen and heard in this often noisy and scary world.

Because ultimately I just want to see others win and enjoy this experience called life, because we only get one shot at it.

With that being said the style and content that I offer will evolve with time, but for now expect me to share with you all things Physical Performance/Health, Psychology, relationships, Communication and Spirituality. Because this is what I love learning about.

And by implementing the concept of The Protege Effect, I will also get to see gaps in my own learning + re enforce acquired information.

In Summary.

Im glad i took this time away to gain clarity around why I do what I do, and what impact I was hoping to achieve with this platform.

For those reading this, thank you for your time. I know a lot of you who do consume my writing/podcast are friends and family. Your support means the world and I am glad I get to do this life with you.

More is coming, keep an eye out on for some podcasts and youtube vids.

Enjoy the days and moments to come,

talk soon - Ryan